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Lawyers Anecdotes

Two Kinds of Lawyers

There are two kinds of lawyers: those who know the law and those who know the judge.

Mark Twain notes…

“It is interesting to note that criminals have multiplied of late, and lawyers have also; but I repeat myself.”

Bad Reputation

Isn’t it a shame how 99% of the lawyers give the whole profession a bad name.

People Drowning

If a lawyer and an IRS agent were both drowning, and you could only save one of them, would you go to lunch or read the paper?

Postal Service Goof

The Postal Service just had to recall their latest new stamp issue. Lawyers were part of the design and people couldn’t figure out which side to spit on.

Minister and Lawyer in Heaven

A minister and a lawyer arrived at the pearly gates, Saint Peter greeted both of them and gave them their room assignments.

“Pastor, here are the keys to one of our nicest efficiency units. And for you, sir, the keys to our finest penthouse suite.”

“This is unfair!” cried the minister.

“Listen,” Saint Peter said, “ministers are a dime a dozen up here, but this is the first lawyer we’ve ever seen.”

Obituary Mistake

A local newspaper mistakenly printed an obituary for the town’s oldest practicing lawyer. He called them immediately and threatened to sue unless they printed a correction.

The next day, the following notice appeared, “We regret that the report of Attorney Critchley’s death was in error.”